“It’s not just about living forever, Jackie. The trick is still living with yourself forever.”- Captain Teague in At World’s End

Many things are already happening in 2019.

Although I had an amazing Christmas vacation, I made a goal to write on this blog daily and didn’t write once! I got sick on the 1st while travelling back to Colorado, I accomplished a big goal on the 2nd that allowed me to map out my entire year, and today I woke up sicker than ever and had to call in sick to work. I stayed in bed until 2:30 pm today, got up to unpack, clean my room, shower, make a grocery list, and schedule appointments, only to crawl back in bed dozens of tissues later. I believe in omens, so getting this sick the first day of the year makes me a little anxious.

I had a heart to heart with “the universe” (how I refer to “God”) on my long drive back to my little room in this snow buried state. I summoned all my energy and emotion to manifest certain things in the coming year. I have spent a lot of energy just being grateful for the previous year and every wonderful thing I experienced and learned, for all the ways I grew as a person, for the people I met, for the relationships I developed, and for the strength to get through the really rocky roads. This time, I just asked for things. I set out certain priorities and vocally established what I felt I needed to be successful and happy in the coming year. I then followed up with things I really wanted and felt would make this year truly great.

I have so much hope and faith in 2019, but if I’ve learned anything from this past year, it’s that expectations are detrimental and useless. I accomplished almost none of the goals I specifically wrote for 2018, but did so many greater things! It was a wild, unpredictable, uncontrollable roller coaster. Nothing that happened could have been anticipated. So this year, I’m going to write some very broad and unspecific goals for 2019. I just want some framework, a foundation, a sketch of a map. I just want to know the general direction of where I’m going. All I need is a heading. I’ll figure things out as I go. I have not written out my goals yet, but I plan to tonight and as soon as they are carefully written, I might just share them with you!

One thought on “A Rough Start

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