“You have a touch of destiny about you…” –Tia Dalma in Dead Man’s Chest
Here we return from a place of calamity. The shapes of the world are shifting, the colors re-saturating with vibrancy. Peace is perfuming once more in my heart. Boding farewell to toothed beasts who gnawed on my stretching mind and devoured my time, today I close a chapter of an appraisal of my mental capacity.
In other words, my first semester of college is OVER.
Tonight is the first night in five months that I was able to come home and have nothing to do. No studying, no reading, no homework, nothing. I treated myself to a steaming mug full of peppermint hot chocolate garnished with a candy cane, lit a pine scented candle, and sat before my ice-glazed window to celebrate. It was a perfect compliment to the thick white snowfall that had so abruptly frosted the world in Christmas sweetness. Is there not a better feeling than watching fat clusters of snowflakes swirl around in icy winds from a heated room, wrapped in a fuzzy blanket, hot beverage in hand? It’s classic winter wrapped up in one cozy emotion!
I learned so much from these past five months. I have learned so much this entire year! I had no idea so much could happen, so many ups and downs. I don’t think I’ve ever made so many poor decisions in a twelve month period. I’ve never had so many adventures, so many new experiences in nearly 365 days. I’ve never grown so much, learned so much, and changed so much. I have had a very incredible, wonderful, difficult year. I accomplished and fell short of so many goals. It was a roller coaster! I grew in every direction, up and down, right and left, above and below, all over the charts! I am so grateful for everything.
My intuition called me to Colorado, and I am so blessed and thankful that I made it out here. I came here for something totally different than why I’m sticking around. Every single part of my life has taken a complete 180 since last year; I could never have predicted anything that happened. For the people I’ve met, for the places I’ve been, for the parts of myself that reshaped, I am so thankful.
I’m in a sticky spot right now. I could either stay in Colorado for three more years or leave in a month. My fate lies in the hands of emancipation for tuition classification. After several panic attacks, I have finally relaxed my anxieties and decided to trust the universe. I have not been taken in a wrong direction yet, and I believe in destiny. I believe that wherever I end up is the exact place I am supposed to be. As long as my heart and mind’s eye are open to receiving direction, as long as I am striving to be on a good and wholesome path, I will follow the path that leads to my purpose. I do not, by any stretch, begin to presume that I may avoid obstacles, failures, mayhem, death, and destruction. It is very possible that I die tomorrow! Everything could very well fall to pieces at any given moment. I could never imagine what the future holds. I can only hope for the best and work towards that.
This year has arguably been the best of my life, but I am relieved that it is coming to a grand finale, because it has also been the hardest. It seems only recently I was writing my new year’s resolutions, but this era has flown by in a moment’s breath, like a little infinity. I am so ready for this month off, so ready to relax, to take a breath and recover from the wildness 2018 has introduced. I need to take about a thousand deep breaths before I can even think about facing 2019.